Oct 26, 2018
By Katrina Goodrich
One out of five women in America will be sexually assaulted during the course of their lifetime. If we narrow the spectrum down to those under the age of 18 the statistic becomes one in four. And 63% of sexual assaults are never reported to the police. There are so many women in pain, suffering because of their victimization and helplessness that they fail to do anything about it. (Don’t forget male victims; though the statistics are different, their pain is no less real).
Sexual assault has been a hot button in the press and social media lately. It is a landmine to navigate because, by its nature, assault is a difficult and dark thing to process. But I believe that living in the culture we do, believing as we do, we as Christians need to step up and find a way to interact appropriately with victims. We need to be a help in their healing process rather than a detriment. I believe the church has some growing to do where this subject is concerned.
Sometimes the church has handled victims very well with support and love, but all too often people of the church are split when confronted with handling this task—especially if the offender is also a member of the church. Some people believe, some don’t. Some blame the victim because they can’t believe the perpetrator would do something so vile. There has to be blame somewhere, so it must be the victim’s problem. The victim must not have been living up to Christian ideals of dress, speech, or behavior. If we are not attacking the victim, we’re sweeping it under the rug, though in some cases unintentionally. Sexual assault is in the “ugly sin” category that is difficult to even think about, let alone discuss. So we shove the unpleasantness into a locked safe in our mind that will hopefully never have to see the light of day—but in order to do that, we have to ignore the victims and their stories. Finding a way to keep these gut reactions in check would be helpful. Even more helpful would be to begin being proactive instead of reactive.
Reading articles and blogs concerning why so many assaults go unreported, a common thread of fear and shame became obvious in the victims’ responses. Many victims are ashamed of what happened to them even though they had no control the situation. The only one who should feel shame is the predator who took advantage of them. But many victims feel guilty—convicted by a church that sends a message to women that the single most important thing they have is their virginity, their purity. What about when that is stolen? The church and Christians don’t tend to address sexual assault at these moments and we need to start.
As difficult and uncomfortable as it is, we (the church) need to start talking about this issue. It is a black hole consuming far too many. Victims of sexual assault are all too common: one-in-five and one-in-four, if you’re addressing a teenage group. It has been my experience that when purity conversations happen, no mention of assault is made. That is why I believe we need to begin addressing it. We need to be mindful of these statistics and how to reinforce someone bearing the scars. A victim should feel free and no shame when coming to the church—and to Christ particularly—when we are having the “purity” conversation.
Church should be a place for victims to come unashamedly; a place of healing even if the church at large isn’t aware of the healing occurring. We need to go on the record sincerely, relieving the burden of guilt and shame from the victims.
