May 28, 2019
By Jean Sheppard Trembley
SDB Church of Shiloh, NJ
Sage table covers draped the new addition of Shiloh’s 66” round tables in the fellowship hall, as conversations buzzed in the April air. Antique china teacups, porcelain teapots, candle-lit pot warmers, and beautiful succulent centerpieces created the perfect setting for the 56 who attended “Conversation and a Cup of Tea” with author Lori Roeleveld of RI.
Lori and her husband Rob blessed the folks of Shiloh for a weekend with Lori sharing at the Ladies Bible Study on Friday night, bringing the message Sabbath day, a “Conversation and a Cup of Tea” Sabbath night and breakfast Sunday morning. Many who attended Sabbath night were blessed to receive free copies of The Art of Hard Conversations, Running from the Crazy Man, Jesus and the Beanstalk, or Red Pen Redemption—all of which come from the heart of Lori’s obedience to Christ and gifted by the Ladies Benevolent Society.
During this time, Lori reminded us that the “art of hard conversations” is not just for those who feel gifted to speak, but for all Children of God. As ambassadors of Christ, the Word instructs us to do our part as found in Ecclesiastes 3:7 & 8: A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, at time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
To be able to speak with others, we need to speak with a heart of love, not love of the flesh, but love that only God can provide. The kind of love that went all the way to the cross is found in
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
If we are unable to speak to others with a Godly heart of love as defined above, then that’s when we need to be silent, go to God, confess our lack of love, and allow Him to fill us with His love. If our spirit is moved to speak with someone (whether it be a hard conversation or not), it needs to be free of anger and our personal agenda. After Christ rose from the dead, He had a difficult conversation with Peter, after Peter denied knowing Christ, not once, but three times. Jesus had every right to be angry with Peter, but he addressed the conversation in a loving spirit.
If you find yourself troubled with someone or a situation, pray about it, give it over to God, surrender your anger and process your feelings FIRST. God created us to be emotional beings, meant to have feelings unapologetically, as long as our conduct is presented without anger or bitterness to apologize for.
After hearing Lori share, the evening left me questioning the depth of my love for others that are outside my intimate circle. Motivation to teach my children and grandchildren of Christ is rooted in my abundant love for them, so sadly, a lack of love must keep me from those I am not emotionally attached to. Ouch, that was a painful reality to admit!
There have been hard conversations throughout the years of my youth within the Shiloh Church family, but the one that stands out was that of Ella Sheppard fulfilling the role of my dutiful grandmother as she pricked at the sin in my life. Her words rang true, her scripture references were sound, her feelings and emotions had already been sorted out with our divine creator, and her only agenda was that of deep love. Her disappointment in me was evident as well as justified, but I am forever grateful she loved me enough to step out her comfort zone, be obedient to Christ, and love me in spite of myself.
Another conversation during my challenging years was more of a visit than a conversation. At 20 years old, divorced and single, my heart still rebelled at God and church. Distanced from family, I weepingly lay in the hospital bed after giving birth to my first-born, knowing my life was not as it should be. Much to my surprise, the Love of God walked in to visit. There was no agenda, no anger or disappointment, just the time, love and prayer of a faithful servant, who I truly had no relationship with and little knowledge of. Thank you, Pastor John Camenga for your obedience in an awkward situation to love the soul of a lost child. Our words during Pastor John’s visit were few, but his mere willingness to engage himself with my wretchedness at that time has forever touched me.
It’s hard conversations that matter and leave lasting impressions that can sting or bless us with the fragrance of obedient love for years to come. The fragrance of Grammie’s loving, yet prickly words, were deep seeded in the depths of my soul for years, before nurtured to sprout into something of beauty.
Psalm 19:14: Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer, Amen. Are my words and meditation
acceptable? Have I gone to my redeemer for strength and love? Just as Lori encouraged us to do, Grammie obviously did her homework before she completed the Lord’s assignment. I pray that I, too, will carry Grammie’s wisdom, faith, and love to engage in whatever conversation or open door God may call me to serve.
Those who have gone before us were there during our tea, as generations past shared in the evening with Mommy’s (Arah Mae Sheppard) teapots, Elsa Scull’s milk glass (shared by Carol Scull), Billie Dickinson’s and Alinda Davis’ teacups (shared by Linda Garrison) and Grandma’s (Beulah Davis) doilies, all of which were longstanding Sabbathkeepers and committed women of God.
The added blessing of the evening was the addition of the round tables recently added in memory of Arah Mae Sheppard, Barbara Lee Nieukirk, Camella Peck, Anna Mary Richardson, Audrey Chew and Tillie Dickinson. The tables provided ease of conversation, and the night of “Conversation and a Cup of Tea” was a perfect way to showcase them.
Everyone was blessed by Lori’s oral and written words, and her candid spirit, making her easily relatable. Thank you, Lori, for reminding us that it’s not all about us; to check our love gauge regularly; and hopefully we can strive to all be another Grammie Sheppard.
