Nov 26, 2019
Barb Green, Parish Nurse
Milton, WI
Dementia is NOT normal aging. It is a diagnosis: an overall term that describes a wide range of symptoms associated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severe enough to reduce a person’s ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer’s disease may be the first to come to mind when dementia is mentioned but there are other types. These include: reversible dementias, vascular dementias, mixed dementias, frontotemporal dementia, Lewy Body dementia and others.
Effects of dementia include the following:
• Long-term memories can seem more real, sharper or more immediate
• Time does not have same meaning: living in the present moment
• Long term memories and skills (artistic, music, prayer) often remain
• May be able to recognize people/things even when he/she cannot identify them
Usually you can’t recognize someone with dementia. There are some clues however:
• Most people are over 65—but more are being diagnosed at a younger age.
• Some people will tell you if they are having problems and how you can help.
• Some people carry a card which explains the problems they have.
• You might notice people doing or saying things which suggest that they are having problems that might be caused by dementia.
These might include: looking like or saying that they are confused or lost; looking like they don’t know what to do next; searching for something they can’t find; problems understanding what is being said.
There may be unique problems that present themselves in a church community. A person may have problems handling money or other church commitments. They may be suspicious of close church friends and family. There may be changes in appearance or hygiene, behavior or language. Family may confess frustration, impatience or difficulty handling their relative or spouse.
The church environment may be difficult for a person with dementia because people talk too quickly, give too much information and are impatient, making the person feel unworthy and unrespected. The environment may be hurried, loud, and distracting. It is important to remember that a person with dementia may remember routines, can read non-verbal cues, detect kindness, know how they feel to be with you and may make either/or choices.
People with dementia can be uplifted by worship services and visits. Some may stop attending regular worship to avoid social situations they fear or no longer understand. Families may feel embarrassed or reluctant to bring a loved one to church or to ask for help. However, family members also have spiritual needs and need to be able to attend. Caring for a loved one can leave caregivers weary, isolated, frustrated, and depressed. It is important for the congregation to understand these feelings and give loving support to both the person with dementia and their family. Sometimes those with dementia may make inappropriate or loud remarks during a worship service. We don’t blame babies or small children when they do the same. Why would we make someone with dementia feel unwanted for doing something they can’t help?
As a congregation we need to know how to provide spiritually engaging worship services for those with dementia—such as using Bible readings, responses and prayers (Psalm 23, Lord’s Prayer) that they may be familiar with. Hymns, symbols, and familiar verses, expressions and objects are important. Involve the person in activities that connect them with others such as choir concerts, Sabbath school, repetitive tasks such as stuffing bulletins and participating in intergenerational programs. Foster an atmosphere of joy, trust, and comfort. Validate their feelings and show tolerance for the person and the caregiver.
You can become a welcoming congregation by being respectful, greeting the person warmly, using simple sentences and a calm voice. Wear name tags, be patient and accepting of behaviors and appearances, ask family members how they are and how their loved one is doing. Try to remember the people as they were before dementia became a part of their life. They may very well remember that person and be grieving their loss of memory. Treat them as you would like to be treated if you were in their shoes. It’s about how we can make people feel, not how they make us feel.
(Wisconsin Alzheimers Institute)