Feb 27, 2020
By Katrina Goodrich
Churches today are heavily divided. There are many different ideas between politics, church polity, culture, and the type of music we play for worship. Churches are split between people, families, belief systems, denomination, and so on. Differences in opinion are just fine. Most of us have heard the joke ad nauseum that you put two Seventh Day Baptists in a room and there are three opinions. We still mostly get along at the end of the day. But when we can’t let go of an opinion or a feeling enough to agree to disagree and then go eat ice cream peaceably together, we get into trouble.
Exclusivity is the opposite of Christianity. Churches today are as full of cliques as any high school—and the thing about cliques is they breed exclusivity by definition (clique: a small group of people, with shared interests or other features in common, who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them). Gravitating toward others who have similar interests is natural; however, it becomes a problem when group mentality takes over and others with differing opinions are left out, shunned, mocked, or not taken seriously due to “outsider” status. It may not be intentional, but I can almost guarantee you it feels that way to the person standing on the outside. As brothers and sisters in Christ we are called to build one another up and share the good news of Christ. Guess what isn’t happening when the church is rife with exclusivity?
Change oftentimes begins at the top. What does that look like in the church? I’ve got an idea for a starting point—the rest of this article will focus on that, but I think that these ideas can be applied in other contexts as well.
When we examine church hierarchy we see it is heavily populated with men. The struggle between genders originated in the Garden of Eden (see Genesis 3) and continues to this day—but that doesn’t necessitate that we should perpetuate that relationship by default. That being said, it is necessary that both sides of the gender struggle do better. But men, if you are going to quote two popular verses in Ephesians 5 as a basis for your leadership, make certain you are enacting the whole of that Scripture.
I realize that Ephesians 5 is mainly directed at husband/ wife relationships. However since it is often used out of that context and that analogy can be applied in other situations (i.e. the church is the bride of Christ, etc.), I feel comfortable applying it to the greater context of brothers and sisters in Christ—and in that context these verses pretty much spell out a great idea.
Paul says love your wife as you love yourself—in this context, men in ministry should treat women in ministry how they would want to be treated. Support them as you would want to be supported. Guys, how many of you would be deeply offended and hurt if someone devalued and disrespected your ministry to your face on the basis that you are a man? How would you feel if you weren’t included in decision-making or if your opinion was only asked for to cover all the bases but not really listened to? How would you feel being an afterthought or a token representative? That’s what happens on a regular basis to women in ministry—whether consciously or unconsciously.
Men, treat the women around you as you would want to be treated. Listen to their ideas, ask for opinions and listen to the answers. It doesn’t have to be in every situation and you don’t have to agree or enact ideas—but acting toward others with the same consideration you would give yourself makes a big statement and goes a long way toward healing a very real and wide divide.
