Apr 28, 2020
By Sarina Gumness
In the last couple of months, I have found faith to be a very visible thing in my life. Since high school I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. With the world in uncertainty these past couple of months, I expected to be anxious and worried because it has been such a thing in my nature. I was surprised to find that I haven’t had one ounce of worry or anxiousness in these past couple of months. I just woke up one day and BAM! it was gone. Every morning I wake up and I have no sense of doubt. Every single ounce of me knows that it’s in God’s hands. This new sense of faith has been incredible because I haven’t had an anxiety-free month in years.
As someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, I know that it is tough when we are told to release our anxiety. I was often told I shouldn’t be having these feelings of anxiousness—and often it made it worse. I felt that there was something wrong with me. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to the conclusion that my anxiety is a gift from God. I believe that God gave me anxiety to build me stronger, to be able to help others, and be someone to whom others could come. Life is like a bouncy ball: the harder it hits the floor, the higher it will bounce up.
I know we have been going through a time where anxiety and worry are very high. A period of uncertainty. I don’t want to tell you that you are wrong to have them—because that won’t help. What I want to tell you is that this sense of worry and anxiety will go away one day, even though it seems impossible. One day you will wake up with this sense of relief. You’ll feel lightness on your shoulders. And that will be because you are strong and you worked together with God. I encourage you to talk with Him. Do not feel you are being punished—but rewarded because you are about to travel to this amazing feeling.
I was recently reminded of the story of Peter walking on water. It is such an important story in our faith journey that it can never be over-heard or over-read. I encourage you to read this story as you walk further into your faith (Matthew 14:22-33). In Matthew 14:29, “He said, ‘Come’. So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.” We must take that step in faith, in order to see a better day.
