Aug 26, 2013

Which came first— the dummy or the egg?

The words “foolish” and “stupid” are closely related.

Definitions of foolish include, “Lacking or exhibiting a lack of good sense or judgment; silly; unwise; resulting from folly or stupidity.”

Definitions of stupid include, “Slow to learn or understand; obtuse; tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes; foolish or careless.”

Foolish people are mentioned in the Bible, but never in a good light.

“Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools” (Romans 1:22, NIV).

“The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence” (Proverbs 14:16, NLT).

“Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips” (Proverbs 14:7, NIV).

I’m a sinner, saved by God’s grace—but that doesn’t keep me from being foolish or stupid at times. Some people might consider me a hopeless, habitually stupid person, but I like to think of myself as semi-hopeless and only partially habitually stupid.

Actually, I’m a highly unobservant individual who periodically does stupid things. With one foot in the real world and the other in “la-la land,” I alternate between those two worlds with relative ease.

One day this past June, I vowed to replace my normal 20,000-calorie lunch with a healthy salad, one composed of “goodies” that rabbits normally eat: lettuce, carrots, peppers, and broccoli florets. (I often see neighborhood bunnies spit out the broccoli.) To make the salad more palatable, I decided to add croutons, cherry tomatoes, bacon bits, and hard-boiled eggs.

After turning one of my stove’s electric burners to high, I filled a saucepan with water and gently placed four jumbo-sized eggs into it. Then I proceeded to slice-and-dice the veggies. Once the salad fixings were ready, I headed to my upstairs in-home office.

I first checked my e-mail. Before I knew it, some Facebook entries and YouTube videos sidetracked me from writing, completely engrossing me in an electronic trance. Just as I was about to exit the internet, a loud bang jolted me back to reality.

Did someone just slam a door in the room below me?

A few minutes later, I heard another loud noise.

What in the world?

Suddenly, the light bulb above my head lit up, and I rushed into the kitchen.

Yup… just as I had expected. Egg guts were splattered all over the countertop and floor. The remaining two eggs in the waterless saucepan were scorched. (My brilliant mind deduced that because of the brown and black blotches on the formerly white eggshells.)

I had mixed emotions.

First off, I was really ticked I’d let the eggs boil dry and explode. On the other hand, I was grateful only two of the poultry grenades detonated and none of the entrails “decorated” the ceiling.

Normally when hard-boiling eggs, I first bring the water to a boil, then place the eggs in the pan. After dialing down the temperature, I allow the eggs to simmer to get done. However, I was in a hurry that day, proving the validity of that timeworn saying, “Haste makes waste.”

I’ll just set the burner on high, put the eggs in the pan, and return a few minutes later to reduce the temperature.

Yeah, right. The vital missing action was “return a few minutes later.”

Stupid: “Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.”

As that great philosopher Forrest Gump noted so succinctly, “Stupid is as stupid does.” That means intelligent people, created in the image of God, can still be considered stupid when they do stupid things. Like a certain person whose name I won’t mention.